Ten on Tuesday

10. Cannoli's are hard to make without a pasta roller
9. David Z. is very interesting to talk to, once you get him to talk.
8. I miss AJ
7. Bill and I only have 8 years to get our stuff together and financial situation sound before we retire!!
6. My biological clock is ticking... I want a baby... I don't want a baby... we can't have a baby!
5. Ryan is still the funniest person I know
4. Sometimes the wife needs to take control in a relationship (wink wink)
3. True friendship can overcome anything
2. Physical Therapy hurts!!!!
1. My husband rocks my world in every way possible!

He was and is there

I have been through a lot in my life. People tend to be surprised at how much I have done in my life.

It was a rough childhood for me, then a very rocky young adult hood. Things have really mellowed now compared to the first 24 years of my life. The things I experienced as a child and young adult have made who I am deep inside.

There are deep parts of me that no one sees that exist. I hide them from people because unless they have been there, they won't understand. The scars are deep and never fade. The pain is real, emotionally. I feel things on a much deeper scale than most. It is very hard to be who I am, seriously.

Most people don't believe me about all of my accomplishments. They don't believe someone could have done so much in just the years I accomplished them in. Most people think I exaggerate what I have experienced in my life, when really I have down played it.

My life would fill volumes of books, yet everyone would say it needs to be filed in fiction. Trying to prove myself to everyone has been a task that has just about killed me, litterally. I have spent the time, showing people the news articles, the pictures, people who were there. It really sucks to have to do it, and it really sucks to have to do it for each person who decides to be in my life, but question what I am telling them.

I don't like being called a liar. I don't like people hinting that I am exaggerating. All my life, I have had to fight that assumption. From family just assuming that we were liars because of our dad, to people just not being able to wrap their minds around the life I have had.

There is one person who believed me, before I ever showed him the proof. There was one person who accepted me for who I was and the life I led. He didn't need proof, he didn't question me once. He believe me with all his heart. When he saw the proof it didn't shock him in the least.

This man who believed me from the start, is now my husband. A loving man who has given his love, time, heart, and life to me. He is the best he can be. He wants to be there for me.

Now that I have fibro, he has stepped up even more. He has taken more time with me, and been even more understanding. He has taken the knowledge of my life and what my illness is now and has been able to support me in ways no one else ever has. He gets it. He is there for me.

Although there may be times when he emotionally hurts me, or doesn't understand at the time, he is still trying to the best of his ability. He wants to understand, he wants our marriage to be the best.

Daily I see him try to be there for me. Daily I see the love he has for me. There are days where I tell him he doesn't love me, but that doesn't stop him from proving me wrong. He is amazing. He is my knight in shining armor, my hero, my love for all time.

I love you Bill with all my heart. Thank you for everything you have done for me, thank you for caring, loving, and being there, when no one else was.