I don't know if I can continue...

So the last few days have sent me in a whirl wind...

I have a friend who is just exhausted and can't seem to have anytime for herself, but is still just a little too guarded to let me step in and help, which is okay... I respect her boundaries, and the fact that she is sharing with me makes me happy.

My ex-step-brother and his family delt with the stress of the Tornadoes in Memphis, TN, and him having to help his grandfather pass, and dealing with his dad making him feel bad for it. So, that worried me and made me sad

Then AJ spent the night last night and that made me happy.

But a good friend went to the hospital with an infection and I am told she is okay... but I haven't been able to talk to her yet.

Bill is coming home tomorrow and I am extremely excited....

A friend from our church passed away unexpectedly last night.. it is tearing me up inside. I've tried to put a positive spin on it... but the family is so wonderful... I just feel so bad..

Bethany, my friend, had her baby even though there some worries, everything turned out great.

However, due to a lot of crap in the last couple of days, I'm now having to review my friendships and decide who is toxic and who isn't.. I hate doing this. But some of my friends no matter how hard I try, just aren't really the friends that keep me moving forward. Some of them cut me down and send me so far backward, it isn't funny. I keep investing in these friendships, thinking if I just tip toe around them enough... if I just agree with them... nope. It just makes me hate me more. How much time should you invest in a friendship, before you realize it's not worth it. The thing is, I have introduced some of my toxic friends to my non-toxic friends and now I am worried. I don't want them to be sucked in too.

I have a lot of hard thinking to do.... I wish today wasn't such an up and down day. I should be happy... I'm suppose to go out with a friend... I'm suppose to be happy that Bill is coming home. Instead I feel the welts of pain from broken friendships, accusations, and pain of hurting friends, and friends who have passed on.

Maybe it's time to take a very very long break....

I'm Scared and Freaked Out!

Things have been happening lately in my life, that I am not sure I like. The last three weeks.. dreams have been coming true and it's scary.

Three weeks ago I had a dream that a very good friend of mine and his wife were at a gathering... God kept telling me to bring them money. I wasn't listening... but finally approached them and they said thank you and that they were needing it.

That was the dream... I approach my friend and told them about the dream and he told me about the financial problems he and his wife were going through and said that my coming to him with this dream was the sign he was asking for to make his next move.

Two weeks ago I had a dream that my good friend passed away. He is a Scouting friend and I was visiting all the places I had been with him.

That was the dream... the next day I ran into a Scouting friend who told me that my friend I dreamed of was very sick. I talked to his wife and she said he had just been diagnosed with liver cancer and will have a little less than a year to live.

Two days ago I had a dream that my ex-step-brothers wife, Allison, and boys were in a severe tornado. There was tons of damage all around them, but they ended up being safe.

Last night, Allison at one point had to hide in the hallway with her boys. She lives in a suburb of Memphis, TN.

I don't know why I'm having these dreams... I don't know why they are once a week. I'm just really freaked out and scared!

A Decision Has Been Made!!!!

Since I sent my poor husband on a wild goose chase in the beginning for a famous piece of Polish Pottery (the platter in butterfly pattern), I feel that the platter is what I really want.



However, this is how I plan to present my answer to my husband...

"Honey, I love all of it. I really wish I could have it all, but I have settled for the platter. So please bring the platter home."

Now if I know my husband... he will have already bought all of them before I gave him my answer. OR he will still buy all the pieces and surprise me when he gets home. If he doesn't I won't feel bad, but something tells me I'm right!

Thank you all for helping me and participating. By the way it was a tie between the platter and the set (including emails I received) I also had three friends tell me to get them all and one friend who told me it was ugly and I would wonder why I got it in 20 years.....

Anyway, I've had fun hearing from all of you!!! Hopefully you will get to have a great meal served on my platter soon!

::HUGS::

Cyndi

Need Your FUN Advise!

If you can get me your choice back in the next few hours, it would be very helpful.

Many of you know my hubby, my love of my life, is in Poland. He found some authentic Polish Pottery for me. Only problem... I gotta choose..

I can get two small plates, two small cups and I think this unique teapot....
or I can get this huge platter....
or I can be selfish and ask for all of it....

What do you think I should do???

I hope that Bill and I last that long..

Today, January 31, 2008, my Grandfather turned 92! That's right, 92... an awesome achievement to say the least. I'm sure it's because of hard honest living and work. Not to mention being surrounded by family all the time.

He and my Grandmother now live just blocks from the nursing home my mom is in. My Grandparents did something, that I have found many people have done from the 30's and 40's, they got married on my Grandfather's birthday. Grandpa says it makes it easier to remember his anniversary and it's the best Birthday gift he's ever gotten. :-) I believe the latter, because today they have been married 68 years!!!! No joke, they were married in 1940! All my aunts and uncles are baby boomers :-).

I've heard the story of how they met at a small school in Nebraska. My Grandfather was a baseball player, on a farm team, and was good. He has his own baseball card! He gave up his dream of being a baseball player to take care of his dad and work the farm.

I remember my Grandparents 40th wedding anniversary... it was a big deal, cake, party, lots of relatives and guests. Then I remember their 50th wedding anniversary... a smaller party, but still family and lots of friends. I don't know what they did for their 60th... but 70th is just around the corner.. Can you imagine that... almost 70 years with the same man/woman. True commitment.

I laugh when I see them nit pick at each other, or when Gpa purposely taunts Gma. Their love in genuine though. You can see it. There is no one they would rather be in this world with, than each other. I think about how people are amazed that Bill and I just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and what an accomplishment that is these days. I just hope that Bill and I will be around long enough to enjoy each other for 68 years or more.

Ten on Tuesday 1/29/2008

My friend Bethany does a Ten on Tuesday, just kind of a little wrap up. I thought I would give it a try.... I hope she doesn't mind.

1. My rant about speeding parents took up a good amount of my energy. But I received the most blog comments ever and I only lost one friend over it.

2. I love Ryanisms!!!

3. Ryan is amazing me. He is building a castle for school (due Friday). He started on his own and hasn't needed/wanted my help. He is doing a great job & adding each piece that is required to receive extra credit. He works on it whenever he has extra time, without me telling him to.

4. I have three business orders I'm working on. 1 bracelet due before April, a business request of chocolates that I am almost done with, and an order of fudge and chocolates due in March. I am hoping for more... I have some great ideas too. I just have to find time to work on my website!!!

5. I am sick of chocolate :-) If I lick one more drop of chocolate....

6. IMs are amazing!!! Bill is in Poland and instead of being on the phone and running up a huge phone bill, we IM two times a day!!! It's great!

7. Until today I had 3 days of almost pain free bliss in a row!!!!!

8. I have great & loving friends who want to take care of me and have brought me food while Bill is gone or have agreed to later in the week!!!

9. Being in charge of a ministry can try your patience. Some people need everything drawn out for them, in detail, and in triplicate.

10. Thank God for personal time with my son. It makes me happy that he trusts me, wants to cuddle, likes to talk and expresses his love for me publicly at age 11.

Ryan and I were watching House and I had to explain what a donkey show was... oh yeah, not something I thought I would have to explain.

Anyway, that got him asking me some questions about what he learned in health class and has seen on television. He asked me why when a guy gets a girl pregnant his friends either say marry her, or get as far away from her as possible.

As I was explaining to him about shot gun weddings, he says, "Oh it's like the 'You broke it, you buy it' thing"

I have never thought of it like that!!